Making a Home as an Expat

This post is part of our “Expat Life” Series.

I am not an interior designer or an expert on much of anything in a home. But what I am is someone who has lived in a lot of different places as an expat. My husband and I have moved ten times in under eight years of marriage and lived in five different countries during that same amount of time. I used to say, “Home is where your suitcases are,” because that was the only way I had of identifying where I could call home. Every year, I had to pack up what we had accumulated back into the four large suitcases we moved with, paring down only to the essentials and starting anew in someplace unfamiliar. 

Now, we have finally set up our own space that we hope will truly be our home for a long time in Casablanca. This is the first time we have owned a whole apartment of furniture, because we have almost exclusively had furnished places and/or hand-me-downs before. Setting up a home in Casablanca for the last six months has brought me more joy than I expected; but I certainly used what I have learned over many previous apartments and moves to make the home that I want to stay in for a long time. Here are five recommendations I have if you, like me, are trying to make a place a home as an expat. 

One Sane Space

Moving is stressful. I probably don’t have to tell you that, because we all know it to be true. But moving internationally brings a unique set of challenges. Myquillyn Smith, known around the internet as The Nester, says, “One way I’ve helped myself feel settled at home among changes is to immediately create ONE comfy, visually un-messy space in the midst of the chaos. Do not wait for the chaos to go away. You will be miserable for longer than necessary.” So when arriving in a new place, we have to pick one space in our apartment, Airbnb, or other accommodation, that will be our One Sane Space. That’s where we unpack, prioritize the projects, make sure the furniture and little touches are in place, and can escape as a safe space in the midst of the crazy. Myquillyn also says, “Sometimes you need to create a safe place to remind you of the good. Sometimes you need to create a welcoming place to help lighten the bad, imperfect or unfinished– if even for a moment.” 

Decide what matters in your home and invest there

One of the challenges with the expat life is we often don’t know how long we will be in a place. Is this assignment/job just for a year or two? Then what’s the point of creating a home—spending the time and money that it requires—if we won’t be here for very long? Can’t we just “make do” for now? Yes, maybe you could just make do in a temporary situation, but you will probably be surviving, not thriving. (I speak from experience here!) And when stress from culture shock, navigating stressful bureaucracy that is foreign to you, and just the general difficulties of life come creeping in on you, you won’t have a safe space to escape into. 

But if you start with naming what matters about home to you, you can create a peaceful sanctuary to escape into when life gets crazy. Kendra Adachi, host of The Lazy Genius podcast and author of The Lazy Genius Way wants us to “Be a genius about the things that matter, and lazy about the things that don’t…to you.” I listen to her podcast every week, and she always starts everything with the step, “Name what matters.” What matters about making my apartment in Casablanca a home will be different to me than it will to you. I love to cook and bake, so having a usable kitchen with all the tools and supplies I need is a priority to me in order to feel at home. (This means I have all the gadgets and gizmos here that some people would think are ridiculous, and some of them have traveled with me on all of the different moves, which seems to some people like such a waste of space!) Maybe a comfy couch and decent TV is your number one priority, or a reading chair, or a spot for playing board games. Whatever matters to you in the quest to make a house a home, you get to decide! And then, if you are only going to invest in one thing to spend money on, you make sure that it is the thing that will most make your space a home to you. 

Bring in some life! 

This recommendation might be my favorite one, because I have a newfound hobby involving houseplants, but I think it can truly apply to anyone, anywhere. Bringing life into our home, especially through plants, is a mood booster, can be healthy because plants purify the air, and just generally helps a space feel more homey. Even if you travel often and don’t feel like you can care for a plant, there are certain houseplants that thrive on neglect. Even if you are only living somewhere for a short season, you can give your plant away when you go. But bringing life into your home has enough benefits that I think it’s totally worth it for anyone. 

Don’t wait; embrace temporary solutions

The biggest mistake I have made in previous living situations was waiting to make myself feel at home. When we first had some friends over to our apartment after we had been living in it for two or three months, one of them commented on how impressed he was with how much progress we had made in getting set up and getting things hung on the walls. He told us that “If you don’t hang things up on the walls in your first three months after a move, they are probably never going to get hung up.” I think there is a lot of truth to that; when we procrastinate hanging things or doing projects in your homes, we adapt to the status quo, and it becomes harder to decide to do something about it. So don’t wait—try to prioritize setting up your home, otherwise things may never get done. 

And along the lines of “making do,” with a temporary living situation, just because we may be renters does not mean we can’t do any projects in our homes. Obviously this may depend on the rules where you live, but if something in your space is driving you crazy, you can probably change it, and it will likely be worth it. You can also embrace a temporary solution that can be put back when you leave. Do you need an air conditioner to survive where you live? Install it, and you can always sell it later (maybe even to the landlord). Make the holes in the wall, paint, do the projects that will bring you joy. There are even some really cool things you can do that are completely temporary, like making wall art with tape. Let Pinterest be your guide, and embrace the temporary. Just don’t wait! 

Use your senses to decorate

Decorating might seem like a waste to some expats. Why would I buy a thing that has no purpose but to look good, and then I just have to pack it or sell it or give it away when I eventually move? Maybe we need to approach decorating our homes differently. In her book, Welcome Home, Myquillyn Smith urges us to decorate for the seasons based on our five senses. So often, we rely on sight to do all the heavy lifting in our homes, and we just end up with a bunch of little tchotchkes. Instead, what if we made sure to engage all five senses in our homes? Lighting a candle or cooking some cinnamon on the stove for smell. Playing a certain playlist that has your favorite songs for the season to involve your ears. Bringing in flavors that feel like home to you, whether that’s cooking your family recipes in your new place, or learning to cook local dishes that make your taste buds sing. And finally, make sure to have some textures that make your home feel cozy, like soft blankets, plush rugs, or just nice tea towels in the kitchen. 

Conclusion

I have many other thoughts about this topic and I truly could nerd out all day talking about how I made the decorating and design choices in our apartment, but I’m not sure that would be helpful to you. If you have questions about shopping in Morocco, my favorite design resources, or any other questions about life as an expat, make sure to comment below and I will be sure to respond. Remember, you get to decide what will make your house a home for you. But don’t wait, just making do forever, because you deserve to feel at home in your space. 

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